guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
is that a dick in a sweater?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
