ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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