never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I love having hate sex.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
