erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize