You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
