so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
