Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize