My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
