areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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