The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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