Your face is a jimmy john
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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