what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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