My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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