Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
