Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
