The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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