I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
