i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
