i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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