What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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