I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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