Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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