If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
