i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
