never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
