Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
