someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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