Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
