I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
