what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
