Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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