dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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