so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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