So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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