At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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