I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
where are you?
Hypothermia
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
