what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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