Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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