dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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