I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Farmville is her only friend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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