i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
