the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
