Nicole vs. Life
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
