I have demons in me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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