Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
