Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
that may or may not have been my penis.
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