we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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