problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
