It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When are your genitals available?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
