OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
