Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
