Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
