so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
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He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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