From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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