Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
