You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
