If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
