Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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(810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r

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(856): View more from New Jersey

so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.

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(856): so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug. http://tfl.nu/yra7

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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(902): Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/sk8g

Replies (33) Good night (388) Bad night (2705) Order T-Shirt
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(347): View more from New York

Leave Me Alone

(573): View more from Missouri

At least least me cry on your voice mail

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(347): Leave Me Alone (573): At least least me cry on your voice mail http://tfl.nu/2wcv

Replies (14) Good night (567) Bad night (4315)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us

(205): View more from Alabama

that didnt stop you

(252): View more from North Carolina

nope

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(252): so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us (205): that didnt stop you (252): nope http://tfl.nu/4max

Replies (20) Good night (4742) Bad night (496)
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(503): View more from Oregon

she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!

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(503): she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!! http://tfl.nu/wu20

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(330): View more from Ohio

Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.

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(330): Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT. http://tfl.nu/98ye

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(561): View more from Florida

my being single is dangerous.

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(561): my being single is dangerous. http://tfl.nu/5ief

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.

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(270): I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut. http://tfl.nu/p9pu

Replies (17) Good night (919) Bad night (2162)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.

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(757): I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you. http://tfl.nu/6wwz

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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(609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf

Replies (6) Good night (1987) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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(860): View more from Connecticut

How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

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(860): How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex. http://tfl.nu/eztj

Replies (8) Good night (1829) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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(+33): View more from France

And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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(+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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(215): You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!" http://tfl.nu/4gma

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(612): View more from Minnesota

It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.

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(612): It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab. http://tfl.nu/z2cq

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