so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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