I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
found the other keg... it's in the tree
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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