Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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