So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
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I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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