What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
